can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
