bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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