I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize