i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
