you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
