just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
