He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Someone signed my nipple.
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