Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
