Barsexuality is the new black.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
