Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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