Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
