wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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