I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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