A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
