true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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