I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
