did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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