There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
