This is not my ceiling
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
