I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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