I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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