To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
