Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
