i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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