as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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