is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
