Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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