girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
