Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize