When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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