I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
