If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
