i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
