what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
