She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
