So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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