Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
whose parrot is this?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
