i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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