This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
