He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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