dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
