I could make wine with my vomit
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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