we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
