And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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