You're completely useless in the revolution.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
