he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
