Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
