you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
