a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
