That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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