Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize