All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
