so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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