I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
