in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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