Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm just crazy horny about you
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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